Whew we made it to 2021. As of right now we have three hundred and sixty something days to try to improve on the previous three hundred and sixty some odd days that we just left behind. We can do better without feeling like we must do better than anyone other than our previous selves. It is 2021 we must do better to strive for a better outcome. Your biggest investment is you. The unique gift you bring to the world has yet to be unleashed and we are waiting for you to share it with us. I know I am excited to bear witness to the unveiling of the unique gifts that many of you can offer the world this year. The whole world is healing which means we are bound to heal as we are a part of this world. I guess the real question is do we really want to heal.
Now I know some of you are saying “Well why wouldn’t someone want to heal”? The short answer is you would be surprised how many people are so used to walking around in a daily existence living with trauma and allowing the results of that traumatic fear dictate the way they function. Some people think they are thriving from it. When the real issue is that some people do not know who they are without it. What type of person would “ABC” be without the daily traumatic events that seems to happen to them on a regular basis? What would they have to talk about other than their trauma? Once you remove the perception of the victim you are left with the person. Then you can see whether they are taking responsibility for their role in the ongoing series of traumatic events they call their life. Most times when they are faced with the choices they made that created whatever traumatic series of events that played out “ABC” becomes defensive and usually creates a heated discussion or they want to shut the conversation down all together because they don’t want to have to defend their actions. And quite frankly they do not have to defend their actions they just have to deal with the consequences of their choices even if they later discover they made the wrong choice.
People can only choose based on the options they feel they have at any particular time. Many times, we do not know what options were presented to that person or what options they knew were available all we know is the choice they made and what happened as a result of that choice(s). That is a lot of responsibility for some people to own up to. It is definitely not an easy pill to swallow in situations where people subconsciously know they are sometimes inadvertently causing some of their own trauma.
We can do better in 2021. The more of us that are healing and/or starting the healing process can be not only an example for those holding onto their trauma like their life depended on it but we can also serve as support as they go through the emotional waves that come with discovering just how messed up they actually are before even beginning to deal with the trauma and where it stems from. As many of us have discovered it is hard not to breakdown from breaking yourself down and getting to know why you are the way you are so you can discover who you really are. Like I have said before we all have unique life experiences that shape our perspective and how we deal with life. That does not make anyone’s trauma and/or life experiences better or less than the next, but it does create different tolerance levels. Just because you got over an abusive lover without any mental anguish does not make you any stronger than someone having a hard time facing the same issue now. Just because you were able to deal with all the mental Olympics that came with being a single parent does not mean that someone else can just “handle it” or “get over it” they just might need a little more help than you did. This it the year stop judging and comparing because we can do better.
It should be the norm for someone to vocalize having a hard time and their village surrounds them and says okay tell us what you need to get through this. Not everyone telling them “Well it’s hard out here for everyone” and think they can keep their sanity just because others were able to. It should be the norm to talk about mental health and wellness and not be ostracized for not being able to handle everything life throws at us. It is time to throw away the perceptions about what it looks like to be strong. Strength does not come from acting like nothing can hurt you. Strength is understanding that a lot is going to hurt you until you deal with it and allow it to become what heals you. Strength is understanding that it all starts with you and being in tuned with your triggers. The normal we had before wasn’t working. Welcome to 2021 where healing is the new normal and we have a much better view.