Trauma leaves it's residue all over your life. If you never address it you will constantly see the same issues reoccurring. It shows up when you least expect it making life temporarily irritating. This action usually stems from an event or possibly something said that initiated a traumatic response. That my friend is what they call a trigger. Do you know what your triggers are?
Trauma is as unique as the person who experiences it. Personally the more I try to heal from the traumatic experiences that I know are issues for me the more layers I seem to uncover of myself. Doing the work is not easy as it takes alot to break down your own issues without breaking down about how messed up you are when you own your issues. The truth is we are all messed up and none of us are getting out of this life alive so while we are here we need to figure out what made us messed up in the first place and that rabbit hole is not for the faint of heart. As disheartening as that may sound, what you discover is that once you do the work and start the healing process you slowly become happier, calmer as well as light on your feet although you feel more grounded than ever, once you start seeing the bigger picture and begin putting the pieces of the puzzle together. The one thing that will always creep on you when you least expect it if unprepared are those darn triggers. Therefore it is better to find out what they are sooner than later. The only way to do that is to address one traumatic experience at a time. You will often discover that there are some trauma laced experiences inside of other traumatic experiences that affected you more than you thought. Many times that's where you find those darn triggers.
Recently I have found myself triggered in ways that have not triggered me before. Leading me to believe that I have advanced to the next level of awesomeness I refer to as "Finding Clarity". On this level I examine the things that irritate me and ask why is it irritating me. The is it them or me, but the ultimate why did/does it bother me? The truth of the matter is we take things personally because of how we personally feel which could be based on past experiences in current situations where we feel the unwarranted need to defend ourselves. In the search for clarity and asking the why has caused me to uncover previously damaged areas that I had forgotten because of the nature of the trauma and the relationships. I had forgotten them because recently I had inadvertantly broken down walls I had built to protect myself from the pain those type of relationships brought. This leaves me exposed to those type of relationships all over again at a different point in my life. So although I have allowed myself to have the type of relationships and friendships that I previously avoided, I have found myself having traumatic autoresponses in situations that may not have warranted that response as I am not the same person I was in those past relationships as they are not the same people that inflicted the trauma nor did they create my past traumatic experiences. I came to the conclusion that it is not the people I am actually responding to but the situations they reminded me of that triggered me to respond the way I did. Now since I have identified it I have to remain conscious of it and work on staying in the present so that I do not hurt other people as I am trying to deal and heal.
Dealing with trauma and going through the healing process is an ongoing process. The rabbit hole goes deeper than you think. The chains of intergenerational trauma can be broken it just takes dedication to becoming self aware. Each link in the chain has a different set of issues. You just have to start the process with yourself and you will be naturally guided through each link of the chain that you are assigned to break. Every time you break a part of the chain your heart and troubles become lighter to carry as there seems to be less of them. This makes for a happier healthier you who has gotten those darn triggers down to just a few.